Step Mom: The B Team

Being a step mom is tough.  I married a man who had two boys.  One was 20 and one was 17 when we got married.  Neither one of them was excited about their dad getting remarried.  They weren't opposed to me, just to him getting married.

We've been married more than a year now and it has been great.  The youngest son decided to live with us about 99% of the time after he turned 18 and we have loved it.  He isn't demonstrative and he doesn't interact much with me, but I know that he loves me and I have loved having him in the house.

We've really become a family and he even used the word "family" the other day to describe all of us.  I love it.  He's around; I do his laundry and buy his food and tell him good night every night.  He's one of my kids and I'm so grateful.  

But today he is getting his wisdom teeth out and his mom swooped in for the occasion.  It really isn't a big deal, but wisdom teeth day is such a fun day (for the mom) when they come out of surgery as high as a kite and saying all kinds of funny things and I'm missing it.  I don't get to laugh at the funny.  I don't get to see the chipmunk cheeks.  I don't get to spoil him when he needs soup or jello and I'm so sad.  I love it that I get the daily grind, but I hate it that I don't get the highlights.

I got to move him into college this past weekend, but I didn't get to go shopping with him for all of the little things because his mom did.  I didn't get to fill his fridge or get the random cleaning supplies or help him decorate his room.  But his empty room here at the house is screaming at me that he's away now and I hate it.

I am thankful that he has a mom who loves him.  I am thankful that, even though he would rather be with us, he still lets his mom be a mom for those "fun" times.  I really am.  But the selfish parts of me wants the wisdom teeth and school shopping times, too.  I know my place as the B team and I'm so very grateful that he loves me enough for me to even get to be on the team.  But it is so hard loving a kid as you own and then having to share him with another.